I truly think that balloons were put on earth to torture children, parents, and the earth. This is an earned perspective, you see, from two distinct traumatic experiences with balloons and my daughters.
Of course, balloons are evil to the environment. They fly up in the air, and end up in our oceans, forests, and in animal's stomachs. According to Wikipedia, "Modern balloons can be made from materials such as rubber, latex, polychloroprene, or a nylon fabric." While it is a good thing that these biodegrate over time (12 months for some latex balloons in the ocean), they can wreek havoc on wildlife in the process. The Sea Turtle Foundation explains the terrible effects of balloons on sea turtles, which already face many challenges from oil spills, overdevelopment, and poaching. The Marine Conservation Society also outlines the risks to dolphins, sharks, birds and whales here. Mylar balloons never biodegrate, so they pollute and harm wildlife for years.
All children love balloons. They are bright and colorful, and fun to bat around. They speak of childhood. But really, what do they do for us? They pollute. They pop loudly, scaring said children, and then send them into terrible screaming fits that shatter our eardrums.
Here is a story from today, to illustrate my feeling that balloons were placed upon this earth solely to harm us, either by an evil force, or by aliens hoping to take over the earth.
Today, as we are walking down the street, during a busy art's festival in town, a smiling woman, promoting her company, descended upon us. I didn't even see her coming. Before I knew it she was handing my children big, colorful balloons. I forced out a "Great!" from my mouth.
Moments before this assault, mind you, I dragged my oldest out of a toy store having a screaming fit. The balloon brightened her sour mood quickly, so I thought maybe my opinion about balloons (already formed my a similar experience) were unfounded.
Just as soon as the thought burst in my mind, the ribbon holding the balloon to my youngest came loose and floated up and away, likely to kill some unsuspecting bird, or ocean animal, and my daughter burst into tears. Full body heaving, face crumbling, tears.
Keep in mind this is a mere 10 minutes or less from hearing all sorts of yelling from my 5 year old, in a busy store, and then, on the busy street with a huge audience of people pretending not to notice.
So, the older daughter says, "You can have mine! Once we get home, so it doesn't float away!" I shower her with copious praise and we head for the car.
After clipping them into their car seats in 100 degree heat, streaming the AC, and pulling out, the remaining balloon pops in my older daughters face. We all jump.
All hell breaks loose.
She is screaming, sobbing, uncontrollably. I try to calm her, to no avail. I start driving, and after several minutes, I have to pull over.
My youngest is covering her ears. My mom looks on in horror.
I pull into a shabby alley with a run down house apartment and a dumpster. I get out of the car, get my youngest out, and my mom, and we wait. Don't worry. The car is on, and the air conditioner is too. The car rocks with yelling and some window pounding.
Several minutes pass, in the hot, sweltering sun.
I see a pile of rocks (no joke) with a pretend foot sticking out if it. You could see the bottom of a pant leg, and a swollen, pretend foot. It was gross, but somehow perfect for that very moment.
The girl finally tires out, and we get back in and head back to my mom's house. The car is quiet, except for the sniffles of my oldest, still recovering.
That is why I hate balloons. Call me anti-childhood. I don't care. They have ruined two perfectly good outings for my family and they are awful for the environment.
We decided to say no next time someone offers one to us. Really. Even with a full frontal assault. We will be a proud, balloon-less family from now on.
Come on, tell me. Have balloons hurt your family? Maybe we should start a club--
image: by Kraetzsche Photo ® (busy, away*) on Flickr under Creative Commons
13 comments:
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Yes, balloons seem to produce only Popping, Polluting, and Pouting from our family. Hadn't thought of it that way until now! What a story - and everything is 20 times worse in the heat, isn't it!
Yes, my kids love them, too. I have another reason for avoiding balloons. In second grade, my class was at a birthday party together. Some of the boys were playing around and holding the balloons in their teeth (by the tip where it gets tied). Our friend Chris's balloon popped and part of it went down his throat. He died that day. I have seen so many kids joke around by holding balloons in their teeth. We have a firm rule that if the balloon goes in your mouth, then you lose the balloon. I know the odds are low, but we decorate birthdays with streamers, stickers, and 1-2 mylar/foil balloons. They don't "pop," they last longer, but they can still fly away! Katy, sorry for the difficult moments--your post was funny, though, knowing we have all been there in one form or another!
Wow - so much misinformation in such a little space. The balloons that are the focus of your story come from the sap of rubber trees and are made of 99% pure latex. The trees are not harmed as latex is "harvested" much like maple syrup. The largest natural product coming out of our rain forests is latex and it is 100% biodegradable (6 months to one year). The myth that animals eat balloons and die has been spread for more than 20 years but when asked to pin down actual facts, you will be hard pressed to find one documented case. Sounds like you had a bad day but no reason to go off on something you now so little about.
I hate balloons. I let Z get them but we often talk about how they can harm the birds and sea life. The thing I hate most those is mass balloon releases. There are TONS of other ways to memorialize a person or event than to release sea turtle killing, polluting, pieces of trash into the air. It makes me angry every time I read about or see a balloon release.
Katy! I am so with you. I finally told my kids no more Trader Joe's balloons. I hate them for all the same reasons you do (and have also seen that weird fake plastic foot), and also feel like a complete wet blanket of all childhood happiness. Glad I am not alone. Thanks for sharing. Hope I will get to meet you in person at BlogHer???? Lisa
Yay for you!!! Until this moment I have been, as far as I know, the only other mother in the universe to deny her children balloons. Every time I go to my neighborhood grocery store I get looks of disbelief when I refuse the balloons tied to the wad of HFCS. The balloon is bad for the environment & the lollypop is bad for the children. No thanks. I just think of all the balloons that have been released into the air on purpose to commemorate causes & events. Oi! We need to promote balloon awareness!!!! Hahaha!
Thanks so much for all of your comments, and sharing your frustration with balloons. Thankfully I feel some solidarity.
Thanks too, to the Anonymous poster who pointed out that balloons are made from different substances other than plastic. I did need to research that and updated the post.
I'm glad some balloons eventually biodegrade-- but not soon enough. 12 months in our oceans is too long. And much harm is done. The study you site that balloons have not harmed wildlife is (shocker!) a balloon industry funded study. The non-profit marine societies share a much different perspective after dissecting the stomaches of marine life. I've linked some of them in the post.
And, I love how the most critical people online are always anonymous. It happens everytime. I think when you have to put your name out there, you think a little more about what you have to say.
But I really do appreciate the comments, especially the warning from the most recent anonymous poster--who described her classmate dying in second grade from choking on a balloon. We need to be really careful and heed your message.
Maybe I'll start an anti-balloon pledge on this site!
Oh my gosh, I love it. We just went through something similar, yet far less traumatic, at Disneyland, this weekend. We're on board too. Thanks Katy! PS- last time I accepted a balloon (at Ralph's) there was so much fussing with it, that I left my wallet in the shopping cart, and it was stolen within 3 minutes (before I returned). Agreed, balloons ARE evil!
Don't get me started on balloons! I'm infamous in my town for my hate of balloons. The car dealerships around here cut them loose and just let them go. A friend caught one so I got on their case. The manager ended up being a real jerk to me and now I want to try and get an anti-balloon release law in Oklahoma haha.
I am sooooo glad to hear that I am not the only mom who thinks balloons are evil! I've been saying that almost my whole life. No one ever believes me that they can end up in the ocean (esp since we live in AZ), but I've seen it first hand.
On a boat from FL to the Bahamas, I once saw a large group of balloons floating on the surface of the ocean completely out in the middle of nowhere. It was just so nauseating.
I do not plan on allowing my little one to have balloons. Call me crazy, but it's my job to educate my son about things people do that are harmful to the environment and it would be hypocritical of me to tell him they are evil as I'm handing him one. ;)
Your all crazy and are full of too much hate. "they kill birds and fish", news flash, so do hunters, animals, nature, and everything else. Do you hate all them. "I heard a kid died by choking on one". Smoking is going to kill how many of the kids that do it later in life but no blogs on how any of you hate smoking and how it should be banned. Face it, your evil for hating something as beautiful as balloons. Spend your hate on other things worth hating. Sorry to disappoint you, but you are in the minority on this. People love balloons and I am 100% one of them and save them all the time from popping. :)
Howdy,
It is ironic how many anonymous commenters leave negative comments. It's like they can't own the comment by actually attaching their names.
I'm not full of hate. I just think it is wrong to use balloons for celebration purposes when they harm the environment, can choke kids, and pop and make kids cry. It just doesn't make sense.
And from the other comments, it doesn't look like I am alone in this.
Thanks for commenting.
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